Alice Cooper For President 2016

As November 8th approaches fast, D//E didn't have the chance so far to comment on or cover the US presidential nominees and their campaigns, but that doesn't mean we haven't been watching the headlines closely and extremely seriously.

We've been asked over and over again about who would we support in this election and until very recently that our guy announced his candidacy, our answer every time was something close to "anybody but Trump".

However, we found our own perfect candidate, our top prime cut of meat and he's none other than the mighty Alice Cooper, a person that inspires all of us, a troubled man for these troubled times we're going through and the only nominee able to trigger our enthusiastic support.

Alice's platform includes the following...

  • Getting Brian Johnson back in AC/DC
  • A snake in every pot
  • No more pencils, no more books
  • Adding Lemmy to Mt. Rushmore
  • Rename Big Ben "Big Lemmy"
  • Groucho Marx on the $50 bill
  • Peter Sellers on the £20 note
  • Cupholders required for every airplane seat
  • Ban on talking during movies in movie theaters
  • Ban on taking selfies, except on a designated National Selfie Day

Jokes aside, vote responsibly...

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