Music's Biggest Night... NOT!

  • Posted on
  • 27.1.14

To be honest, I’ve been very hesitant about whether I should write this post or not, because from its very inception, it is intended to be a “bitching” and “nagging” post and nothing more. I mean, it’s the Grammys, they’re supposed to suck, but why suck so much…?!

The best way to do this without ending up cursing a lot, I believe is with bulletpoints. So thank you, bulletpoints!

  • People got there in their fanciest of clothes for the occasion. Red carpets, pre-telecast ceremony, all that and then some and got at the Staples Center to celebrate music. Music, as to pop songs. Pop songs, as to circa 2014…

  • Right off the bat, Beyonce and Jay-Z, the “divine entities” take the stage to starstruck everyone in the room, imposing on Flashdance, cabaret style… The tiniest hopes I had for an at least entertaining show went out the window.

  • Pink did acrobatics. Who doesn’t want to watch acrobatics on a show concerning popular music (or straight “music” as they kept calling it, like the Grammy-approved one is the only music that matters)? I believe her song maybe would have been more impressive if she juggled through it or tamed a lion or something.

  • The two most important people in the building were probably Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney, who I can’t let myself do the badmouthing, but only because they were Beatles once. That is a fact I truly do respect, but do they too?

  • Then you get a decent performance from Kendrick Lamar and Imagine Dragons, totally spoiled by the cameras cutting to Taylor Swift dancing around in the audience like a monkey!

  • Just about when all became ridiculously unbearable, Daft Punk, Pharrell Williams, Nile the Hell Rodgers and Stevie fucking Wonder got on stage absolutely killing it and again, they keep showing the celebrity audience’s puppet-like dancing. It’s Daft Punk’s second TV performance ever, Rodgers and Stevie Wonder are there and they choose to cut to Jay-Z and Beyonce to show how much great time they’re having!

  • Then Metallica and Lang Lang’s performance was supposed to be a life changing experience. Obviously it was a bit of a mess.

  • 33 couples, both straight and gay, got married by… Queen Latifah, live on national TV, over the sound of Madonna’s vocals singing “open your heart to me”. The floors were drenched in wet mascara from the overwhelmed celebrities who witnessed the holy ceremony and got their own hearts opened.

  • Please, leave Lou Reed out of this…

  • …and let those who passed in 2013 rest in peace. Most of them have won Grammys and have been part of shows like this, but I guess it must have been a much different experience for Phil Everly gaining a nomination at the first awards in 1958, than it is for the artists now. There was so much more talent gathered in that photo slideshow of the deceased ones, than in the livestock of the whole arena together multiplied times ten.

  • Alicia Keyes got a bit confused presenting an award, and mentioned John LEGEND, when she meant to say John LENNON. I don’t know what I would have done to myself afterwards if I’d done that mistake.

  • Awards like best metal performance or best comedy album or many many other interesting categories were just pre-show material, weren’t even in the show at all, not even mentioned!

  • Finally! Nine Inch Nails got the stage joined by Josh Homme, Dave Grohl and Lindsay Buckingham to play some goddamn REAL MUSIC for a change and right there they’re showing ads over the performance! Literally, they brutally cut off the performance three times to show ads while the band was still playing! Witness the brutality for yourselves…

Trent’s response on Twitter was immediate and quite deserving…image

On a positive note, I have to mention how much I enjoyed Daft Punk, not only at their performance, but during the ceremony as well, how sharp they looked in their tuxedos with the helmets on and how persistently those guys stayed in character, not speaking a single won during their winning acceptances.

You know what they say, “haters gonna hate”, so just let me hate, to my concern for all the right reasons. I love music, I breathe in it and have spent fortunes on it over the years, but most of those people, I don’t care much about. I consider this all (maybe tied on the top spot with the Oscars) to be the world’s most expensive facade, yet there seem to be people out there who still give a damn about it. Why did I watch it in the first place? Probably because watching it was a good moral lesson after all.

The Grammys’ official site

What our best music of the year sounded like, and see, we have a couple of Grammy nominees in there as well…


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